Sure, the MLS Transfer Deadline is enough to give anyone whiplash. But if you're a D.C. United supporter …

Hope y'all invested in a good neck brace, because this Steven Goff tweet had me slamming the brakes:

Then Jeff Carlisle came along to report that a boatload of General and Targeted Allocation Money would head to LA, which has corresponding bomb-drop written all over it. People! It's still hours from the deadline! Good grief.

Let's review what got us here:

  • Even before the Secondary Transfer Window (July 20 - August 9) opened, they announced a $50,000 acquisition of GAM (sending an international slot to Crew SC) while releasing anodyne forward Jose Guillermo Ortiz.

  • Alhaji Kamara, he of the fastest debut goal in MLS history was sold to the Al-Taawoun FC of the Saudi Professional League.

  • They sealed the long-rumored acquisition of Bolivian 19-year-old Bruno Miranda, a youth international forward.

  • Not two seasons after sending General and Targeted Allocation Money to Seattle for Lamar Neagle, D.C. turned last year's super-sub into a fourth-round pick in next year's MLS SuperDraft.

  • They sent former MLS Defender of the Year Bobby Boswell to Atlanta, where he'll help to stabilize a leaky backline for the likely playoff-bound expansion side (at D.C.'s expense?)

  • They were reportedly in, then all-in, then … out, on Chile and Inter Milan all-defensive everything Gary Medel.

  • They're, ah …
    considering the addition
    signed Hungarian playmaker
    Zoltan Stieber to bolster the attack.
  • And they might have already found an alternate option to fill the No. 6, reportedly chasing 22-year-old Hoffenheim prospect Russell Canouse.

  • That same article references the uncertain status of winger Sebastien Le Toux.

  • Phew.

    This, though, is what happens when you're battling to escape residence in the 2017 basement at the same time you're readying for a move to fresh digs.

    The whole point of the shiny, new, modern-era stadium is to provide not just a home, but AN EXPERIENCE. I should know, having chronicled/marketed/made up what I was doing for the (now-Brooklyn) Nets' move to Barclays Center in 2012. One thing MLS original D.C. will have that Brooklyn did not, and arguably still doesn't, is a loyal, broadly knowledgeable fan base.

    Which is why D.C. cleared the metaphorical decks, clearing PT and cap space to chase up-and-coming US internationals (Arriola), intriguing, in-their-prime talents (Stieber) and loaded-with-potential prospects (Miranda) to slot alongside their now-established foundational pieces (Luciano Acosta, Ian Harkes). The rest of this season is spent figuring out what you have – and what you need – so that you step on the field in 2018, in front of a sold-out 20K, and don't get whomped in Game One.

    Every thing. Everything. EVERYTHING! is aimed squarely at providing an unforgettable opener. But as my people say, "Man plans. God laughs." Sometimes you schedule "The Clash of the Boroughs", and what you get is the Raptors. Brooklyn Sports & Entertainment still took that W, thanks. (And for what it's worth, they got the Knicks in that postponed opener.)

    Expect an interesting matchup for whatever date the schedule cabal lands upon for that home debut. Expect a roster D.C. thinks is not only playoff-competitive, but also inspiring, from the first kick. Expect a team ready to rise. It's (almost) time.

    Couch: Eye on Audi Field, DC United start setting the table for 2018 -

    ExtraTime Live: Transfer Window Recap!

    Watch ExtraTime Live on Thursday at 2:00 PM ET. Former MLS executive and New York Red Bulls sporting director Ali Curtis will join the show to help break down all the trades, transfers and storylines. Set a reminder to watch