Sal Zizzo and wife Destiny in TLC Show Rattled, 2016

TLC’s new reality show Rattled, about four sets of new parents, includes pretty much everything you’d expect: blurry medical scenes, quivering lips, feel-good moments, and a handful of characters that will do wonders for your self esteem. Here's what includes that you would not expect: a star turn by New York Red Bulls midfielder Sal Zizzo.

The series follows four couples as they navigate some of life's most treacherous waters: new parenthood. According to TLC, the show explores the "scary, exhilarating, frustrating, joyful, and ultimately life-changing experience of parenting."

Though Rattled debuted last week, the episode that premiered on Tues., Feb. 10 is where Zizzo first shows up. (You can watch the full thing online on TLC's web site now.)

We caught New York Red Bulls' Sal Zizzo on the new TLC show 'Rattled,' and it was glorious -

He's introduced as Sal, who plays "in a professional soccer league" (cue Red Bulls photos of Sal jumping), alongside his wife, Destiny Moniz Zizzo, an actress and model (no photo examples given).  As the show's story line goes, Sal’s a traditional Italian boy, while Destiny grew up living the “Vegas lifestyle." 

Both, according to TLC, have “extremely overbearing” families who disagree on everything!  Like religion! And baby names!  And! Maybe some other things?

How did two such different people ever decide to get married and have a baby?  Do they have anything in common besides their obvious interests in eyebrow grooming and skin care?

Despite all that build-up, on a close watch of the second episode, they seem to be getting less airtime than the three other couples on the show.  Could it be that this adorable couple doesn’t actually have any television-worthy problems?

They’ve even already come up with a compromise name for their baby. Destiny’s family likes “crazy names," and Sal’s family likes Italian names like, well, mostly just Sal, and occasionally Nino. So they’ll name their baby Capri, which is crazy enough but also an Italian island, so done. And they like it! (Two perfect white-teeth smiles! Ding!) 


We caught New York Red Bulls' Sal Zizzo on the new TLC show 'Rattled,' and it was glorious -

Potential conflict ensues when Sal can’t make it to one of Destiny’s doctor’s appointments.  But no big deal to this couple. Wait, Destiny might have to get induced on a night Sal has a game? The game’s at 7 p.m., so they can just wait until 9 p.m., right?  (Aside: Isn’t soccer the best sport? Those 90ish minutes just fit so neatly into the rest of one's day.)

“Go with the flow,” is Sal's self-proclaimed motto, and that seems to be what they are doing on this episode.

Guys! Do you want to be on TV or not?  No one is crying or even screaming!

Then there's Destiny’s mom, though. She gets it the way only reality TV moms seem to get it. She can make cooking chicken dramatic! “Enjoy your tacos,” she tells Sal. “They might be the last ones you ever get.”

She’ll try to talk medical professionals into inducing her daughter’s labor ... just because. She tried to convince the kids to name the baby Chandelier. This is how you do reality TV.

We caught New York Red Bulls' Sal Zizzo on the new TLC show 'Rattled,' and it was glorious -

But despite Destiny’s mom’s best efforts, Sal and Destiny just aren’t keeping up with the fireworks of the other three couples on the show. How are they ever going to compete against quadruplets, a couple who tries to program their baby with an iPad app, and a guy who, no joke, asked a 911 operator if he should try to push the baby back inside his girlfriend?

They do seem to have a strategy to create an interesting plot, though: Destiny’s mom, dad, and brother are going to stay with them for a month, and two weeks in, Sal’s parents are also coming to stay.  A new baby, all four grandparents, and a camera crew in one house for two weeks? No doubt there will be tears!

We'll find out on the next episode, which also airs this coming Tuesday at 10 p.m. ET. The teaser for it shows an un-smudged and un-ruffled Destiny giving (blurred out) birth. And Destiny’s mom--ever the professional, if such a thing could exist in reality television--promises, “There’s gonna be a big fight!”

We can't wait.