Shout out to everyone trotting out the tired "Retirement League" narrative over the past 24 hours. When all you’ve got in your toolbox is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Thanks for making it clear you’ve conveniently ignored the rest of the MLS offseason.
Yes, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is 36 years old. Yes, he’s coming off a serious knee injury that almost ended his career. Yes, there’s a decent chance this will be the final stop for one of the most decorated and individually brilliant players the game has ever seen. Yes, there is the very real possibility that this won’t work out the way the LA Galaxy hope.
But come on – this is Zlatan (on TAM!) we’re talking about here. Before this season, which he spent buried in the Manchester United training room feverishly and somewhat secretly rehabbing, the last time the big Swede failed to score more than 14 goals in one of Europe’s top leagues with one of Europe’s top teams was more than a decade ago, when MLS was just 10 years old.
If he’s back to full fitness, this is a massive coup for the LA Galaxy and Major League Soccer. If he’s not, and it takes some time to get up to even half-speed, it’s still a massive coup for the LA Galaxy and Major League Soccer. There’s not a club in the world whose interest wouldn’t be piqued if they had a shot at Ibrahimovic for $1.5 million per year.
Only other clubs didn’t have that shot. If Ibrahimovic wanted to play somewhere else for more money, he would have. Zlatan chose Los Angeles, and he chose the Galaxy. And in doing so, he agreed to a contract that makes the addition of Discretionary TAM look like an absolute masterstroke. In LA’s case, let's go ahead and call it the Zlatan Rule.
If Zlatan is on the field, he’s going to score goals. And if Zlatan scores goals, the Galaxy are a good bet to return to the top of the Western Conference. And if the Galaxy return to the top of the Western Conference, this might just be the year they finish the #RaceToSeis. And if they win their record sixth MLS Cup, their new neighbors are going to be bystanders when the victory parade rolls through town.
No matter what the Galaxy want to say publicly, this year is about soccer hegemony in Southern California and signing Ibrahimovic is a salvo fired across the bow of their new in-city rivals. LAFC may have had the momentum in Los Angeles after two early wins and a brand-new stadium going up in the shadow of downtown, but there’s no longer any doubt which club has the biggest star.
And oh my, how Zlatan’s star will twinkle in the SoCal sunshine. I’ve been saying for years that the league needs more characters, and now MLS has arguably the biggest and most colorful in all of sports. Ibrahimovic has already conquered Amsterdam, Milan, Barcelona, Paris and soccer-mad Manchester. Los Angeles, welcome to Zlatan.
Who else would say farewell to one of the world’s biggest clubs by unironically portraying himself as a deity arm wrestling the devil? Who else could take out a full-page advertisement inside the Los Angeles Times welcoming himself to the world’s most star-studded city and have the stunt feel authentic? Who else can look right at home next to a literal lion?
#zLAtanpic.twitter.com/S73CpaNMaP
— LA Galaxy (@LAGalaxy) March 23, 2018
Only Zlatan would. Only Zlatan could. Only Zlatan can.
None of this is to say that there isn’t risk involved. There is, and it’s not insignificant.
This is not the Galaxy of yore. There is no Landon Donovan or Robbie Keane in the locker room. Zlatan’s legendary ego could unbalance the group. The backline isn’t exactly rock solid. Zlatan’s consumption of TAM funds could prevent LA from bringing more balance and quality to the squad. This could all implode, and spectacularly so.
But, as Zack said, who cares? Bring it on. It’s up to Sigi Schmid to figure out how to get all his stars on the field – A penny for Ola Kamara’s thoughts? – and keep the backline from leaking goals. Not. Our. Problem.
We get to sit back and enjoy the show. You better believe the haters will be watching, too.
