Another full week of MLS matches, another set of match recaps in limerick form. Because why not? You're surviving Monday, aren't you? Check out what you missed below -- and feel free to click those match recaps, too, for the full scoop.
TOR 0, SKC 0
Fri., Mar. 31 (match recap)
Benny was nowhere in sight
While KC was lacking in fight
Lacking incision
Or smart decisions
It ended a goalless blight
SEA 0, ATL 0
Fri., Mar. 31 (match recap)
So much for the promise of goals
This was one for the hitting of poles
Looking down the line
These teams’ll be fine
Their rosters are lacking in holes
NYC 2, SJ 1
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
The Quakes are not great on the road
Good things, this does not quite bode
Bernardez’s red card
Made things yet more hard
Their backline couldn’t carry the load
CHI 2, MTL 2
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
Schweinsteiger scores on his debut
In a match that ends up two—two
Marking on corners
Lacking all order
The Fire’s got some work left to do
CLB 2, ORL 0
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
Meram is playing red hot
He scores on shot after shot
Young Wil Trapp did boss
Orlando’s first loss
He fills midfield like a clot
DC 2, PHI 1
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
Where’d they be without Bill Hamid?
DC’s greatest player indeed
With save after save
Many for the brave
From the back, this team he does lead
MIN 4, RSL 2
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
Who knew the Loons were contagious?
Real’s defense was outrageous
They dug a big hole
With goal after goal
Marking like this is courageous
HOU 4, NY 1
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
A quick-fire hat trick for Cubo
He’s scored during four in a row
One for BWP
Can’t compare with three
Scoring race has a way to go
VAN 4, LA 2
Sat., Apr. 1 (match recap)
Diop’s keeping casts a pall
But Techera’s having a ball
And Ousted gaffes too
Safe hands, there are few
Cue backups awaiting the call
POR 1, NE 1
Sun., Apr. 2 (match recap)
Valeri volleys like Zizou
Players like him there are few
Internet’s boyfriend
And hard to defend
His aim on that shot was so true
