Cry me a river, Quakes fans, cry me a river. I'm going to jump straight into the deep end this week and spare y'all the sob story about how many cool events I've missed out on over the years and how hard my life has been and how sorry you should feel for me because I have "will not attended" all of my friend's weddings, which by the way, has caused some serious worry about whether or not they will come to our wedding in November, because hey, maybe they are going to pay us back for not coming to their wedding, and in that case we may have burned so many bridges with these folks and we have so few friends left that we may not have enough people who still like us enough to fill our quota of 8 Kava Dinner Plates and 8 salad plates and 8 low bowls and 8 jumbo cups and don't forget the round platter (just one) and serving set and steak knives. And a Brew Central 12-cup Coffee Maker with 24-hour timer and drip-stop feature, standard.
Speaking of that, it is a Wonder of the World how many different types of flatware there are in stores like Brate and Crarrel and Bottery Parn. I mean, it's not like you can actually tell the difference between the Newport and Nantucket and Sterling and Somerset and Foster and Fairbank and Craven and Crenshaw (which are straight-edged and perfectly balanced). And another thing ... Anyone who thinks the Charleston set with the tear-dropped shaped handles with the mirror finish are any cooler than the mahogany stained wood and stainless steel set that can be machine washed for no less than a lifetime is just plain crazy. I mean, value over timeless elegance? I don't think so.
And another thing ... What is the difference between a California King Sheet set and just a King Sheet set? How many different kinds of King sets are there? Is there one for every state? In fact, the whole bedding thing is a complete mystery to me. I have no idea what a duvet is, or what it's used for. If you have a duvet, do you need a comforter? Does a duvet cover fit onto a comforter, or is that what a sham is for? Is a sham similar to a coverlet, which I think is what they used to call a blanket? Is a bed skirt really necessary, and does it come in a pack with the fitted sheet and the flat sheet or is it sold separately?
Don't even get me started on bakeware. Between the cast iron grill pans and the various non-stick pans and stainless steel pans and au gratin pans and sauté pans and Dutch ovens and steamers and flat-bottomed woks and colanders and butter warmers (seriously) and rice steamers and who knows what else, I can't seem to figure any of it out or have the faintest idea whether or not we already have any of these things. I mean, I make pasta for every-pre game meal, but I can't tell you what kind of pot it is that I use. Am I missing out on some super easy, perfect pasta cooker that I just didn't know about before? Is there a pan out there that will keep me from cooking the broccoli too long? Or do I need a steamer for that? Add to that words like calphalon and infused and anodized, and I am completely lost.
Man, I seem to remember that this diary was going to be about something else, but I think my fried got brain.
Cnofsued,
Wade
