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Defender Jimmy Conrad gets retirement roast on Twitter

On Thursday, 13-year MLS veteran Jimmy Conrad announced his retirement from professional soccer. Always one of the league’s great personalities, Conrad marked the end of his lengthy career with a humorous press conference at the Home Depot Center, home of his final club, Chivas USA.

“I will always cherish the moments of running in front of you in small shorts and long socks with other grown men while trying to kick a ball in a certain direction,” said the five-time All-Star to the amusement of all in attendance.

So it seems fitting that Conrad would be receptive to the idea of a roast in his honor on Twitter from friends, fans, players and journalists. After all, can you think of another MLS alumnus whose name is more synonymous with the term “funny guy?”

Here are a few of the best – and some of the most brutal — tributes to Conrad’s great career. To see the entire Jimmy Conrad roast on Twitter follow #JimmyConradRoast (!/search/realtime/%23JimmyConradRoast)

keikamara KEI KAMARA
Jimmy is so old...when I got traded to Wizards I went to him and said "Hi Coach" #JimmyConradRoast

justinmccord Justin McCord
the wife cooked a #jimmyconradroast for dinner the other night. A little salty, but still a solid menu choice.

cboehm Charles Boehm
. @MLS_Insider I always respected @JimmyConrad_Com for his sad yet dignified reactions to getting burned on goals. #JimmyConradRoast

alecko11 Alecko Eskandarian
Ever since MLS Cup 2004, I have been waiting for Jimmy to retire to get this off my chest... IT WAS A HANDBALL, JIMMY! #JimmyConradRoast

iamFAUX FauxFur&SoccerShirts
Jimmy Conrad is so old that he was just selected by the Cosmos to play in his own testimonial. #JimmyConradRoast

MLSAmbassador Marcus Hanson
Jimmy Conrad is so slow now, you could time his 40 with a sundial. #JimmyConradRoast

TopoftheTableTV Top of the Table
I thought @JimmyConrad_com had been roasted enough on defense, why hold another? #JimmyConradRoast

svertgoalcom Seth Vertelney
Jimmy's best #MLS playoff performance was playing Guitar Hero at halftime of the 2009 MLS Cup #JimmyConradRoast

ZombieJaqua Zombie Jaqua
In his prime, Jimmy Conrad was one of the premier defenders in the league. That was the greatest three days of his career. #JimmyConradRoast

FFactoryNY FootballFactoryNY
is so old that @ochocinco initially stated his regret at not being able to train with his childhood hero. #JimmyConradRoast

usarsnl Keith Hickey
Jimmy Conrad is a magician. He turned "Eddie Pope getting old" into two World Cup appearances. #JimmyConradRoast

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