Armchair Analyst: Matt Doyle

Armchair Analyst: The Ozzie Alonso Effect, RBNY drop the hammer & more from Week 26

I'm going to open this column with a plug for a coming attraction, namely 24 Under 24. The list is in, and in the interest of piquing your interest, I'm going to share my own, personal 6-through-10. Note that this isn't the official list, but rather my list, which counted for 1/18th of the vote.


10: Kwadwo Poku
9: Matt Polster
8: Harry Shipp
7. Joao Plata
6: Wil Trapp


Have fun guessing who 1-through-5 were in the comments section below. I promise not to butt in.


Now, onto the games from Heineken Rivalry Week (drink!):




1. Desolation Row


The capstone to a week of feuds was the most impressive performance of the bunch: New York's 3-0 dismemberment of a flat, lifeless and perpetually chasing D.C. United team. This one wasn't close, and if it wasn't for the heroics of Bill Hamid in goal – early, often, always – it would have been an historic drubbing.


Instead it was merely an ominous note in what was otherwise probably a moderately successful month for United. Yes, they've lost three straight in the league, but they traveled to three different countries to play seven games across all competitions and won four of them despite being mostly without Fabián Espíndola and partially without Hamid. They swam upstream through a monstrously busy and difficult stretch and crawled onto dry land to find themselves still atop the East on total points and basically through to the CONCACAF Champions League knock-out rounds.


Managing both of those things in two straight years is a major accomplishment. The Galaxy, the Sounders, RSL … none of the typical "they're so consistent!" teams in the leauge have produced like this in back-to-back years. Even if D.C. are overtaken by the Red Bulls – and, spoiler alert, they're going to be overtaken by the Red Bulls – it's hard to lodge too big of a complaint about anything Ben Olsen's done since winning the US Open Cup 23 months ago. United fans should bear that in mind.


There is, however, the sneaking suspicion that this team can't quite compete on the biggest stages for the biggest stakes:

He led the Fire to a four-point week, thanks to a huge 3-2 win over the Red Bulls on Wednesday, followed by a 1-1, hurricane-delayed draw at Orlando City on Saturday.


The "Xavi" thing is obviously hyperbole for effect, but please watch the next Fire game and notice how excellent Stephens is as receiving the ball in traffic with a simple touch away from pressure, then spraying useful passes to create time and space for his teammates. Chicago fans are right to wonder why he hasn't been starting until recently.


1. Finally, FC Dallas finally stopped their skid with a 2-0 win over Real Salt Lake on Saturday. Homegrown goalkeeper Jesse Gonzalez got the shutout, Homegrown midfielders Kellyn Acosta and Victor Ulloa both went their customary 90 minutes, and youngsters Tesho Akindele and Fabián Castillo both scored.


Dallas are still, in my opinion, a year away from being an elite team. But thanks to their investment in youth, they've cleared themselves a very promising path forward..