COLUMBUS, Ohio—Everyone who tracks excellent soccer facial hair can rest easy. Portland Timbers fan favorite and majestically red-bearded defender Nat Borchers, will keep his face party in full force.
Sure, the Timbers defender said earlier in the MLS Cup Playoffs that he’d shave it all off if his team won the Cup. But when push came to shove, breaking up with the beard was hard to do.
So he chopped off a handful.
In a celebratory post-game Timbers locker room, the scent of sticky, drying champagne hanging heavy in the air, Borchers said he didn’t want to finish the deed.
“We already cut the bottom,” he said, hugging his booze-soaked teammates. “I‘m not sure how much more we can get rid of!”
Well, good. We wouldn’t want this banner, displayed on the Timbers’ subreddit, to go so quickly out of date.