Oh, to be a rookie in professional sports.
Rookie defender Steve Birnbaum has completed 33 of 34 weeks of his first season as a pro soccer player with D.C. United. In that time, he's probably picked up more training cones, bagged more practice balls and cleaned up more locker room floors than the rest of his 23-year-old life, combined.
Birnbaum has also been quite successful on the field for United, making 20 starts and playing the full 90 minutes in all of them. His solid play as a first-year MLSer has earned him some chatter as a candidate for the 2014 MLS Rookie of the Year award.
So D.C. United have stepped up to the plate and attempted to create more buzz around Birnbaum and his RotY credentials, much like FC Dallas have done for Tesho Akindele in a hilarious Napoleon Dynamite spoof series.
Except the likes of Davy Arnaud, Bobby Boswell, Chris Pontius and others aren't all that interested in singing praises or campaigning for "Big Time Birnbaum" anytime soon. Instead, they roasted the poor rookie from Newport, California (above video).