You probably didn't get to watch every MLS match this weekend. That's what we're here for. Here's what you missed, while you were doing who knows what.
SOCCER FOR DUMMIES – A.K.A. "PORTERBALL": How harsh of you, Real Salt Lake fans. But, then again, your side did beat the Portland Timbers, 1-0. The 11th game in a row that you haven't lost to the Timbers, by the way.
CUBO > DEMPSEY? If you asked Black Army 1850, one of Chivas USA's main supporters groups, that's what they would have told you on Saturday night with Clint Dempsey and his Seattle Sounders teammates in town. Dempsey's side got the all important 2-1 result on the night, thanks to a pair of Dempsey assists, but there's nothing between the two early season Golden Boot leaders – six goals apiece.
CUBO > DEMPSEY pic.twitter.com/4h0Gn6Jh40– Black Army 1850 (@BlackArmy1850) April 20, 2014
BUDDLE-MWANGA BUST-UP? Locker room disagreements between teammates and/or coaches aren't exactly uncommon in the sports world. What's not quite as common is for that to take place with outsiders – the media, in this case – in the room.
Just witnessed a pretty big blowup in the locker room between Edson Buddle and Danny Mwanga - didn't see all of it, but certainly heard it.– Chris Bianchi (@Rapids_News) April 20, 2014
CHICAGO CAPTAIN'S MEA CULPA: It was a disappointing 1-1 draw for the Chicago Fire against the Philadelphia Union on Saturday, considering Frank Yallop's men were awarded a 90th-minute penalty kick. Juan Luis Anangonó reluctantly stepped up to the spot, only to have it saved by Bobby Shuttleworth (WATCH IT HERE).
After the game, however, captain Jeff Larentowicz stepped up in defense of the Ecuadorian.
GET WELL, COMMISH: More standout tifo work from Goats fans this weekend: "Strength, Courage, Hope – Don Garber." Commissioner Garber, who was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer, received overwhelming support from fans across the continent in the days following that announcement. He took to Twitter himself last week to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts.
HI, MOM! I'M ON TV! It was an interesting weekend for sideline reporters this week around MLS. First, the Galaxy's Kelli Tennant took a wayward shot to the back of the head during pregame warmups. Later on that evening, Brad Evans, making his return from a calf injury that cost him a month of action, got up close and personal with the Sounders' pregame broadcast crew.
From the look of the below shot, we're not entirely sure Evans didn't continue running straight into, through and over the sideline set.
Sneaky sneaky? pic.twitter.com/cN0BHtmvkL– Alan Hinton Fake (@AlanHintonFake) April 20, 2014
CROSSING THE DELAWARE: One of these days someone is really going to hit a ball over the Sons of Ben and into the Delaware River, which sits just behind the River End at PPL Park. It nearly happened last week when RSL's Álvaro Saborío miscued and hit one over everything. This week, it was the Houston Dynamo's Corey Ashe who went up, up and away. Aim high, MLSers, aim high. Literally.