Or maybe it's the other way around, with Lampard's club teammate Fernando Torres also in the mix somehow. And Luis Fabiano is on his way to D.C. United, while Luca Toni - or perhaps a reanimated Giuseppe Meazza - will soon be wearing the colors of the Montreal Impact.
Hey, Juan Roman Riquelme needs a club! And what MLS manager wouldn't rearrange his tactics to get Roman onto the field?
Nicolas Anelka is reportedly at odds with his Chinese team (who, it must be said, are paying a pretty penny for a striker who's produced but three goals in 22 games). Maybe he's a good fit? And with Wesley Sneijder trading barbs with Inter Milan, why not target the little Dutch playmaker? Hell, he's even on the right side of 30.
Teofilo Gutierrez may be crazy, but he sure does score goals. And by the standards of American sports, threatening teammates with a paintball gun is pretty well down the list (seriously, Google the Rick Majerus towel story). How about bringing Herculez Gomez back? He and Chelis are homeboys, after all.
Somebody could throw Joe Gyau a lifeline in Germany, where he simply can not find his way onto the pitch. Up north there's Josh Gatt and Mix Diskerud, both of whom will only stagnate in a league as slow and predictable as Norway's Tippeligaen.
These are just some of the names thrown around this offseason on message boards and Twitter as possible DPs. Some of them make sense. Some of them sound worse than Luis Angel Landin multipled by Denilson.
So let's find out: Who do you want?