NYC stand-up comedian and The Cooligans co-host Alexis Guerreros brings you the 10 things on the North American soccer scene that most entertained him over the last week:
Look At All This Room!
Whoever handles the Vancouver Whitecaps Twitter account is really enjoying all the freedom the new 280 character count on Twitter offers. How did they celebrate it? By typing out what you yell anytime you kick something and it goes exactly where you intended.
Seattle Won’t Let Vancouver Forget About It
No vacation for the Seattle Sounders Twitter account after they spotted Vancouver’s tweet. Some would say this is petty and I would say back to them that they’re ruining all of the fun.
This tweet proves that you do not need 280 characters to hit a 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥/5 on the Official Savage Meter™️. Do not miss the snarky use of "eh" which makes this all the more savage.
Minnesota Wants In On All The Postseason Fun
Even though Minnesota’s season ended early, they’re still enjoying all of the entertainment from the Audi 2017 MLS Cup Playoffs, both on and off the field. They even found a way to get involved in the action with a perfect player GIF:
Cozmo Strikes Again
If you don’t follow the LA Galaxy’s mascot, Cozmo, on Twitter then I’m not sure we can be friends. He’s a must-follow.
This is his first offseason in a long time with nothing to do, but he’s still losing sleep due to this time change. Here he is having a mini-meltdown two days apart. Get some sleep buddy! The world needs you! Who else is going to troll visiting international managers?
Two days later:
Kelly O’Hara Ain’t Got Time For Your Nonsense
While you’re still sulking about the US men not qualifying for the 2018 World Cup, Kelly O’Hara is out here making sure the opposition doesn’t even get a chance to stop the women. Here she is taking flight like “I GOT THIS!”
The most epic thing about this takedown is the stare as she walks away. Oh man, she looked at that Canadian player the way my mother used to look at me across the room at parties when I was running wild. Every Latin kid reading this knows exactly what look I'm talking about. This tackle may not be trolling, per se, but it almost broke the Official Savage Meter™️ by being too savage!
Engine Engine Number 7
Cristian Roldan isn’t just the darling of Seattle fans, MLS fans, or even USMNT fans, but he’s also the darling of the meme community.
Here’s one Sounders fan turning a harmless Roldan video into something you will not get out of your head for a few hours. Yes, Jordan Morris is involved… no, Jermaine Jones isn’t. Well, at least not directly.
New England Are Starting To Have Some Pun
This is what I’m talking about people! Some good old fashion pun-fun!
If you haven’t heard, the New England Revolution hired USMNT and English Premier League legend Brad Friedel as their newest head coach.
While everyone was dishing takes on the hire, Ben Crook decided to take the high road. The road not traveled often enough. I can’t tell if this pun is great or terrible, but I know I’m enjoying it! Go ahead, try not to even smirk at this, I dare you!
Do I Love This Picture? I Do.
Wedding pictures are usually an opportunity to look your best and classiest. Well, Britt Senator said, 'Screw that' and decided to look as soccer as possible.
Paying homage to the iconic Brandi Chastain 1999 World Cup winning PK celebration with her bridesmaids in the background. What’s cooler than this? Where is a picture of her husband in a huge red wig, shirtless with an American flag cape? We need to see more! (Also, congrats you guys!!)
What The World Needs Is More Wiebe
If you’re a fan of ExtraTime Radio then you are aware that host Andrew Wiebe has been expecting his first child. If you follow him on Twitter, you found out he had said child, one Cameron Russell Wiebe, named after his favorite law firm (kidding buddy!).
My favorite part of the announcement is the trolling of the infamous Landon Donovan baby announcement. Well done, never stop soccering! Congratulations, Andrew! If you have another baby “Alexis” is a great option, boy or girl!
What did you see this week that made you laugh? What did I miss? Hit me with it in the comments or tweet at me @SoccerCooligans with #FunniestMLS and we’ll include the best ones next week.
Alexis Guerreros is a stand-up comedian based in New York City and a co-host of The Cooligans. He also supports New York City FC.
