New York Red Bulls coach Mike Petke: A man for all sweaters | SIDELINE

Mike Petke's sweaters have their own Twitter acount. As do the man's suits.

In 2013, this is an official sign of having "arrived." Or perhaps just a fan with entirely too much time on his or her hands.

Either way, it speaks volumes to the New York Red Bulls head coach's fashion sense — which is, according to advanced fashion metrics, very good about 85 percent of the time.

Every well-dressed man has his signature article of clothing; whether he loves to rock fitted caps, has an entire closet dedicated to his shoes, or sports the hottest new watches. Mike Petke is much more pratical and homey, though.

He has the sweater. More specifically, the cardigan. 

 

Jay Heaps is totally impressed. Jay, thinking to himself: "It looks really soft. I wonder if he would notice if I rubbed it a little?" Pro tip: Just a quick pat on the back as you walk away, Jay.

Red Bull is marketing hardcore towards that rapidly growing cardigan demographic these days. 

Even Thierry Henry can't believe how soft it is. "I'm sorry, boss, but I can't let go."

We all make mistakes, though, and Mike Petke is no different than the rest of us mere fashion mortals, as evidenced below.

Tony Soprano wants you to immediately return his shirt that you stole from his closet.

It's okay, Mike. We all swing and miss sometimes. But really, you can't un-wear something like that.

Props for the suit game, though, because that stays very nice.

This now concludes today's 17-photo look at Mike Petke's sweater, shirt and suit choices from the 2013 regular season. The rest of your day can be only downhill from here.