AMSTERDAM – Before you all slip into the traditional holiday food coma, we broke out the American Exports abacus.
Unless otherwise noted, the tallies below count all top flight European leagues, plus the second divisions in England, France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands and Spain:
The Door-Darkerners
Every club in existence has those certain players they dread seeing on the schedule. We're talking about the ones they just cannot seem to stop.
The greatest American portent of defensive doom to date? It's Earnie Stewart, who habitually delighted in lighting up several Eredivisie sides. The current AZ Alkmaar technical director notched eight goals (and five assists) in 17 matches against poor Sparta Rotterdam to stand as the top American "Public Enemy No. 1" for any single European club.
MOST GOALS VS. ONE CLUB
1. Stewart, 8 vs. Sparta Rotterdam
2. Stewart, 7 vs. Ajax
3. Boyd, 6 vs. Red Bull Salzburg
4. Boyd, 6 vs. FC Wacker
5. Dempsey, 6 vs. Wigan
6. Stewart, 6 vs. Groningen
7. Stewart, 6 vs. Heerenveen
8. Altidore, 5 vs. Ajax
9. Altidore, 5 vs. Heerenveen
10. Dooley, 5 vs. Stuttgart Kickers
The Point Thieves
Fact: Belgian side Gent cannot stand the sight of Anderlecht midfielder Sacha Kljestan on game days. The man I like to call "Inspector Kljouseau" has never bumbled a case against Gent, going an unbeaten 12-0-3 in their meetings across all competitions to ring up the gaudiest victory total for an American field player against one European foe.
It's also worth noting that Maurice Edu went a perfect 8-0-0 against Hamilton and Michael Bradley left Serie A having won all six of his clashes with Fiorentina, the two best 100 percent runs against one team.
MOST WINS VS. ONE CLUB(field players only)
1. Kljestan, 12* vs. Gent
2. Kazlauskas, 10* vs. Telstar
3. Stewart, 10 vs. Sparta Rott.
4. Cherundolo, 9 vs. Gladbach
5. Onyewu, 9 vs. Westerlo
6. Edu, 8 vs. six SPL clubs
7. Jones, 8 vs. FC Nurnberg
8. Kazlauskas, 8* vs. Almere
9. Kazlauskas, 8* vs. Den Bosch
10. Parkhurst, 8 vs. Silkeborg
* = active totals
The Brick Walls
What about the netminders? Well, it's far to say that the words "Tim Howard" and "Brad Friedel" give fans in several English towns a very bad feeling. The Everton star has tallied 10 or more victories against six different clubs, while the iron man Spurs veteran has hit double digits on four opponents.
MOST WINS VS. ONE CLUB(goalkeepers only)
1. Howard, 14* vs. Fulham
2. Howard, 11* vs. West Ham United
3. Friedel, 10 vs. four clubs
4. Howard, 10* vs. four clubs
5. Hahnemann, 8 Derby County
6. Hahnemann, 8 Sheffield United
7. Keller, 8 vs. Leeds United
* = active totals
The League Sages
If you ever wanted to know about a certain European top flight, now is the time to find out who to ask. Unsurprisingly, Friedel contains the most information on a single honor division thanks to 448 career Premier League matches.
Tim Howard and Steve Cherundolo are the only two other Americans to crack 300 games in one league.
MOST GAMES IN ONE LEAGUE(top-flight divisions only)
1. Friedel, 448 in EPL
2. Howard, 357* in EPL
3. Cherundolo, 302 in Bundesliga
4. Stewart, 247 in Eredivisie
5. Dempsey, 218 in EPL
6. Keller, 201 in EPL
7. Dooley, 199 in Bundesliga
8. Jones, 165 in Bundesliga
9. Onyewu, 164 in Jupiler League
10. Gerzicich, 161* in Ligat Ha'al
* = active totals
Clutch in the Cup
Fans, critics and haters alike can say many things about Jozy Altidore's thus-far troubling tenure with Sunderland. One thing they cannot say is that he stopped being a cold-blooded domestic cup killer upon arrival at the Stadium of Light.
In a season-and-a-half, Altidore has bagged three goals and six assists in extracurricular play for the Black Cats. In total, the striker has found the net in four different domestic cups, with a grand sum of 13 goals and eight assists in 28 matches.
MOST CAREER POINTS (domestic cups only)
1. Altidore, 13g + 8a = 34
2. Dempsey, 8g + 3a = 19
3. Jóhannsson , 8g + 1a = 17
4. Taylor, 7g + 3a = 17
5. McBride, 5g + 1a = 11
6. Onyewu, 5g + 1a = 11
7. Reyna, 4g + 3a = 11
8. Bedoya, 4g + 2a = 10
9. Gatt, 3g + 3a = 9
10. Moore, 4g + 0a = 8
* = active totals
Greg Seltzer covers Americans based in Europe for MLSsoccer.com.
