"Pending the completion of a successful medical."
It's a ubiquitous phrase during the transfer window, and it often times seems like a mere formality. After all, these are the world's greatest athletes -- chances are they're in tip-top shape, right?
So if the club's doctors look at the player and decide that his leg is not currently broken, nor is it likely to soon be broken, he passes the medical?
Well, these are the 2010s, so it's quite a bit more complicated than that these days.
The above video shows US national team midfielder Jermaine Jones undergoing his official medical examination prior to signing for his brand new club team, Turkish Süper Lig side Besiktas.
As you can see from the video, a 2014 medical involves numerous sensors placed all over the subject's body, the "stick out your tongue and say, 'ahhh'" test, some light physical exertion on the treadmill and a good, old-fashioned tube camera up the nose.
If the first thing that comes to mind is, "Jermaine does not look happy to have these cameras photographing him while he walks shirtless on a treadmill," you're probably right.
If the first thing that comes to mind is, "why are they showing us a surgical look inside Jermaine Jones' nose," well, then you and I are on the same page now.
European "man-scaping" obviously does not include the inside of one's nose.