Schmid
"Robbie and I were hanging out and I told him if I get the time, I'm hitting that ball to you. I love hitting that ball. He took it down brilliantly and finished it." - Danny O'Rourke, on his long-ball, game-winning assist that went over Ebert on its way to Rogers.
"Sometimes people dismiss a goal if it's a penalty, but I felt this penalty was an earned penalty. It was a good early ball by Schelotto, a good ball by Rogers, and a good run by Moreno, so those types of penalties can be deserving goals." - Schmid, on the Crew's first goal.
"We'll have to look at the tape on those two goals, but other than that 10-minute stretch, I thought we did a good job defensively. We lost the script for about 10 minutes, so we'll have to look at that." - Schmid, on the evaporation of the Crew's 3-1 lead.
"It was good that we built ourselves a lead, but we have to keep our concentration. Those 10 minutes almost cost us two points." - Adam Moffat, on the same subject.
"I still need to be better. That third goal, the tying goal...I need to save that." - William Hesmer.
"My landing was really dicey. All I could think was, 'God, when I said I was looking forward to spending time in Columbus, I didn't mean the rest of eternity.'" - Notebook Hall of Famer and Chivas USA color analyst Brian Dunseth, on his scary inbound flight.
Ding, Dong, The Streak Is Dead
When he arrived at the stadium, Danny "Two Penalties In Two Games" O'Rourke approached Dunseth and me with a very serious line of questioning. "Have you guys been on the field yet?" he inquired. "Have they marked off the penalty box with yellow tape that says DO NOT FOUL?"
Dunny and I said no, but that in its place, the Crew installed an invisible doggie fence around the box so that Danny would receive an electric shock upon entering the penalty area, which would alert him that he could no longer foul.
At that moment, the referees emerged from their locker room, stopped to say hi to Dunny and Danny, and then went out to check the field. As they walked into the distance, Danny jokingly commanded under his breath, "Don't call a penalty on me today!"
Then Dunny gave Danny a quick little pep talk about life as a central defender before everyone went their separate ways.
Fast forward four hours. As the victorious Crew walked off the field, O'Rourke came over with a high-five. "The streak is OVER!"
A little while later, in the locker room, we discussed it further. "Yes, the penalty streak is over," he said. "This is on par with when the Red Sox ended the Curse of the Bambino, or what it would be like if the Browns ever made it to a Super Bowl."
My smile vanished. Danny asked if I was a Browns fan. I said yes. He laughed at me.
(The worst part is that I don't have a leg to stand on. When I asked Danny who his team was, he said, "Whoever's on my fantasy team. I'm a Buckeye fan without an NFL team." So unless I get the inside scoop on Danny's fantasy league, I'm a sitting duck when it comes to football smack.)
Anyway, nobody ever accused Danny O'Rourke of being soft. Conceding penalties in the first two games at a brand new position could be devastating to one's psyche, but O'Rourke never shied away from the fact that it happened, and as mentioned, was even comfortable enough to crack jokes at his own expense before the game.
"There's no room to dwell on it," he explained. "If you think something bad is going to happen, it's going to happen. This game is 90% mental, so I had to keep a positive attitude and just learn from it understand that I couldn't take my midfield mentality out there. I gave up two penalties in the first two games, but Will saved both of them, so thankfully my learning didn't cost us any goals."
So what about those saves? Hesmer claims that O'Rourke owes him a steak dinner at Hyde Park.
"Hyde Park?" scoffed O'Rourke. "I don't owe him anything. It's his contract year, so I was just trying to get him paid."
Padula's First Game
Gino Padula, the Crew's new left back, made his debut in Saturday's match. It was Padula's first competitive match since playing for the Crew on trial in England back on March 7. After a rough start, including an intercepted back pass in the 12th minute that required a bailout point-blank save from Hesmer, Padula finally settled into the game and displayed his talents.
Team captain Frankie Hejduk spoke at length about Padula's debut, shedding some light on the challenges that Padula faced as he was plugged into the starting lineup.
"It's tough because he just got in last week, traveling from Spain, going back and forth, staying in hotels...it's tough," said Hejduk. "And not only is it a new league, it's a different type of league. And I think he'll admit he's not 100% fit yet, but he's going to get there. But despite all that, I think we needed to implement him right away, because we brought him here for a reason. He's a guy with a left foot, and there were definitely flashes of brilliance out there tonight. He's a good one-on-one defender and he's not only good with the ball, but he's very calm on the ball, and we need that coming out of the back."
"I think after the first half hour, he finally got settled in," Hejduk continued. "He was much better in the second half, and I think he's going to get better with each game. I've been in his shoes before and it's tough. He's in a whole different country and that's not an easy thing because there is more than meets the eye. It's not just, 'Oh, you've got a new team, now go play.' I mean, not only does he have to learn a whole new team and a whole new league, but he's still got to bring his family over, get a car, find a place to live, and all that other stuff. So yeah, he had a few moments early in the game, but once he got settled in, you could tell that he is a good player and that he is really going to help our team this year. We're happy he's here."
Random Padula Numerology Note
Seeing a long-haired Argentine wearing No. 4 for the Crew made be think of Ricardo Iribarren. And then I remembered Mario Gori also wore No. 4. Although others have worn that digit, No. 4 seems to be the unofficial Crew number for Argentine defenders.
Moffat's Virtual Crew
Chris DeVille has been doing an outstanding job covering the Crew in Columbus Alive, one of the free weekly papers in town. Two weeks ago, DeVille wrote a feature on Adam Moffat in which Moffat revealed that when he played the soccer management simulation game Championship Manager as a kid, he often played with an American team called the Columbus Crew. Ten years later, he finds himself playing for that very club. "Now I know what it's all about," Moffat told DeVille.
That was great work by Chris, and I couldn't help but follow up on the groundwork laid by his piece. When I read that story, I immediately wanted to know if Moffat ever managed the Crew to an MLS Cup victory.
"I never did," he said with a shake of the head. "I got to a final, but never did win it. I even cheated and got some more money and signed some new players."
So what type of talent infusion did the virtual fans of Columbus enjoy during the reign of GM Moffat?
"When I cheated?" he asked, seeking clarification. "When I cheated, I brought Ronaldo to Columbus. That was a good signing. You know, young Ronaldo from 10 years ago when he could really do it. But I think the game knew I cheated, so it still wouldn't let me win."
Will or William?
After turning in my first Notebook, I noticed that all references to "Will Hesmer" were replaced by "William Hesmer." Crew PR Director Dave Stephany then informed me that Hesmer is going by "William" this year.
Well, that's just insignificant enough to warrant a full-blown investigation. Let's start with the man himself, Whatshisface Hesmer.
"I grew up as William," explained Hesmer. "When I went to college, people started calling me Will, and my mom didn't like that so much because she said she named me William. People are still calling me Will, though. Danny O'Rourke's mom gives me a hard time because I introduced myself as William, and she said, 'I'm not calling you that. I'm calling you Will.'"
O'Rourke popped his head out from the around the corner. "What did he say about my mom? Yeah, that's right, I hear everything. I want you to write down everything he says about my mom so we can discuss it later."
So, William, what else do we need to know about Danny's mom?
"Danny's mom is really cool," said Hesmer. "I have no idea how he came from her."
Rather than let the investigation get derailed by Danny's mom, it was time to focus on other aspects of the task at hand. Like, should we use a middle name or initial when referring to Hesmer? After all, nothing would bring me more joy than writing articles about The Honorable Mr. William Herbert Walker Hesmer IV, Esquire.
"No, you don't need to use my middle name," Hesmer said. "William or Will is fine. I am a junior though."
(Stephany was quick to point out that many juniors are given nicknames like "Skip" or "Chip," so his switch back to William from Will isn't terribly drastic within that context.)
The next witness called into this investigation was obviously O'Rourke, who addressed the Will vs. William conundrum. "Well, he grew up in the country club and flying around on his dad's private jet," said O'Rourke. "I think his dad runs half of North Carolina, so Will tries to be the senator of our apartment, but I don't let it happen. I will never call him William. To me, he is...Bill."
Although not present to testify, I know Duncan Oughton refers to Hesmer as "C.C. Willie." The initials stand for Country Club.
Moving on, there is a new problem to consider. If Will is now officially William, should the rest of the team follow his lead as a show of solidarity? Maybe Daniel O'Rourke? Edward Gaven? Robert Rogers?
"No," said O'Rourke. "No Daniel, no Edward, and no Robert. Besides, you got Robbie's name wrong. His name is Robbie Hampton."
Robbie Hampton?
"Yeah, because he acts like he's one of those kids in the Hamptons."
Okay. After weighing all of the testimony not related to Danny's mom or Robbie Hampton, I think Hesmer's official Notebook name will now be Mr. C.C. William "Chip" Hesmer, Junior.
Well, at least until I get tired of typing it or he beats me over the head with a polo mallet or something.
Life Imitates Low Comedy
On Saturday, there was a small black rectangle of non-working panels on the scoreboard's video screen. I jokingly told Dispatch beat reporter Shawn Mitchell that the rectangle resembled one of the methods used by over-the-air TV programs when they have to censor nudity.
Wouldn't you know it, in the second half, the scoreboard showed a close-up of a Crewzer cheering and that black rectangle lined up perfectly across her torso. I almost spit my water all over Shawn's computer. The fact that the Crewzer could not have been mistaken in any way for being nude due to her puffy yellow coat made the image all the more amusing to me. That would have taken one heck of a wardrobe malfunction.
Speaking of Shawn...
Some readers may be happy to learn that Shawn's Crew blog is doing brisk business over at Dispatch.com. It is the third-most-popular blog on the site, trailing only the Blue Jackets and political blogs.
It would be folly to extrapolate too much meaning from those numbers. ("The Crew are more massive than Ohio State!") The numbers, however, do acknowledge that there was a segment of the reading public that needed a much bigger Crew fix than it was getting from the paper, and that Shawn's blog has been filling that need.
Plus my own personal gameday experience has been greatly enhanced by the having the chance to hear Shawn say things like, "I'll be right back. I'm gonna go blog that." (And voila! Five minutes later, all of you get to read an update on The Ekpo Paperwork Crisis: Day 47.)
The Nordecke
The Crew's supporters section in the Northeast corner once again got some love from players and coaches. After the game Frankie Hejduk tossed his jersey into the section, and in his press conference, Sigi tossed another verbal bouquet toward the groups that inhabit the corner.
"That corner is starting to become impressive," said Schmid. "I like that corner. Our team responds to it as well, which is why they go over there. That corner makes this a tougher place to play."
As a shirtless Hejduk walked off the field, he stopped for the fans at the tunnel entrance and screamed in jubilation while flexing his muscles Hans & Franz style. In typical Frankie fashion, he later joked, "I'm not gonna have this body forever, dude, so I gotta show it off."
Adam Moffat - Subliminal Marketer
I can't believe I missed this last time. After I turned in the Toronto article, I was looking over the quotes again, and I found a gem from Adam Moffat. I kicked myself that I didn't notice it and include it, so I am closing this week's Notebook with it.
How could I miss it? Well, the first reason is that the line was delivered with such stone-faced subtlety that it was easy to overlook. And the second reason is that Moffat speaks with a thick Scottish accent, so he might as well be speaking Klingon for all it matters to those of us not born and raised in Scotland.
Anyway, a reporter asked him about being the "poster boy" for the Crew, since he's a hard working two-way player. In his reply, Moffat offered this gem:
"I like to work hard. And play harder."
Steve Sirk is a contributor to TheCrew.com. This story was not subject to the approval of Major League Soccer or its clubs. Questions? Comments? Got a light? Feel free to write him at sirk65@yahoo.com.
