but just for the record, Tex could whip both their rear ends in a handicap match with one hoof while TiVoing through country night on "American Idol".
Boston soccer guru Frank Dell'Apa is reporting that Red Bull is flirting with some shakeups in the front office, which could include Alexi Lalas coming to Planet LA to join the Galaxy. I hear the same thing -- that RBNY wants to put their stamp on the team -- as if big-time halftime shows, soccer legends at the home opener and bussing soccer fans up and down the East Coast aren't clues enough that they are serious.
On the week the NFL unveiled its flexible scheduling plan for TV, made me a little jealous. Would love to see the Red Bulls home opener and all the great stuff planned around it featured on the national game. That said, good chance for everyone to see if new-look Chivas USA is for real after beating up a punchless RSL last weekend.
If New York head coach Mo Johnston ends up getting cut loose prematurely, some other MLS team is gonna get awful lucky. Heck, if I am the Toronto ownership, I'd try and sign him now and pay him to sit on the beach for a season ... although Frank Yallop will also make some sense for that job, you'd think.
Speaking of Toronto, the Toronto Star is reporting that an early candidate for the team's name is Inter Toronto FC. Works here.
Oops, though: good time for my semi-regular expansion warning. Love the idea of South Jersey, a team in Queens and all these other possibilities -- but please be careful. Thinning talent pools are not good for the product.
See where Lothar Matthaeus quit his team in Brazil and got the heck out of Dodge ... and left behind a $6,000 phone bill. That'll be the worst mess a coach leaves behind until Larry Brown and the Knicks finally part ways.
With his tough time at The Swamp, it seemed like talk of Bob Bradley as a near-automatic successor to The Bruce quieted a bit. If he turns the Goats around, that could heat back up, and if he can get Ante Razov banging in goals with regularity again, the guy should open for Penn and Teller.
You know TCS loves the post-goal celebrations, as your old pal Tino is all for choreographed stuff as long as it is quick and sportsmanlike. But the boot-shining thing is very 2002, and I saw it multiple times last weekend. Love the sentiment, but let's get creative, lads.
Hey, how's this for early returns? Queen of the Palace sits down a couple weeks ago and picks a March Madness bracket using some cockamamie combination of the Prince of the Palace's birth date, birth weight, height and whatever else. So somehow the kid picked the Florida Gators to win the whole thing. Glad someone in the family knows sports.
I leave this week with a plea to Real goalkeeper Scott Garlick. Shave that mustache. Please. Now. Word is the silver-haired 'keeper is sporting the black 'stache as part of a mustache-growing contest with teammates, where the winner will pocket like $600. Scotty, I'll send you the check myself, brother ...
During the season, The Clean Sheet runs each week on MLSnet.com. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or MLSnet.com. Send any questions and comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.