I wanted to take a minute this week to thank all of the readers who take time so often to e-mail in with your thoughts about my columns, MLS and the soccer world in general. It really does give me a chance to gauge what the soccer world is talking about, and hopefully lets me write about the things you want discussed.

While at least a few times per week I get e-mails with subject lines that introduce me to new and exciting profanities, I know it is always done out of love. Right Section 8'ers?

I always try to write back as often as I can, but unfortunately sometimes I just can't get to them all. It's not that I am overloaded with e-mails as some writers like to pretend, it's just that I recently added Setanta Sports USA to my satellite package so between my three soccer channels and catching every episode of Tori Spelling's show on VH1, I'm kinda busy these days. Yeah, that's it.

So this week, I figured I'd just post a couple of random e-mails from the inbox, and answer them publicly. And as always, thanks for checking in.

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Dear Tino:

Since the U.S. did so well at the last World Cup, they should be a shoo-in to get out of their group.

Sincerely,
Way Too Many People

Dear Way:

This may be the stupidest thing I have heard since Britney Spears being allowed to have another baby. Everyone listen very carefully: the Americans got killed in the draw with this group. They may play very well in all three games and not go through. This group is much more difficult than the last one they got out of, and they may be less underestimated than they were last time. The task is harder this time, period. If I were The Bruce, though we all know he doesn't care, I would be on a mission of lowering expectations really quickly.

And one more thing - if the Yanks get run out of Schnitzeltown, the MLS offices will still be open the next day. The league's prosperity does not depend on how this team does. That argument just doesn't hold any water, from a soccer or a business standpoint.

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Dear Tino:

I just heard that Chivas USA is having four bobblehead nights. Is mine one of the ones being given away?

Thanks,
Dwight Schrute
Dunder-Mifflin Assistant (to the) Regional Manager
Scranton, Pa.

Dear Dwight:

Sorry, but the Chivas USA giveaways will feature bobbleheads of Paco Palencia, Ramon Ramirez, Claudio Suarez and goalkeeper Oswaldo Sanchez from the Chivas mothership.

They had planned on doing a Cuauhtemoc Blanco one, but couldn't figure out how to keep it lifelike and still have the head actually bobble with nothing to connect it to the torso. I never get sick of killing that guy.

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Dear Tino:

Can I borrow a time machine? I just spent a whole season on the bench at my club team, and now I am third-string for my national team. I should have transferred over to a team on Merseyside or elsewhere a year ago.

Thanks,
Tim H.
Manchester, England

Dear Tim:

My time machine needs a new flux capacitor, so if you can find one, it's yours. Just remember, it's all ball bearings these days, anyway.

TP

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Dear Tino:

Call me.

Luv,
Pamela A.

Dear Pam:

Whatever happened is in the past, I'm an old married guy with a kid now. If you want to talk more, e-mail me at my private email address. It is jbradleyespn2003@yahoo.com.

TP

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Dear Tino:

Yoo haf to give our Fire sum credit, we is doing pretty good with no home yet. But dont ever come heer, wee all hate you.

Sinseerly,

1 Fire Fan

Brigveew, Ill.

Dear #1:

I will admit, coach Dave Sarachan has done a great job with the team so far, with only one loss from five road games. Hopefully a lot of people will turn out to support the team once they come home to their new stadium, and hopefully the Fire will do their fans a service and host a "Hooked on Phonics Night" at the new place.

TP

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Dear Tino:

Can you give me a ring? There are a couple of English players I haven't seen play that I need to know about. I'm going to be spending some time with them in Germany this summer.

Cheers,
Sven G.E.
Sweden

Dear Sven:

No one's heard of that guy either.

TP

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TCS PERSON OF THE WEEK:
Every week we're going to pick one person to give a little love, a little special recognition for doing something to really stand out. Could be a player, coach, broadcaster, you name it. Sometimes we may even have to venture outside of the soccer world. Feel free to e-mail in with your nominations.

Good for Taylor Twellman. Twellman went out on national TV last Saturday and banged in a goal right away to stick it to everyone, present company included. Loved the defiant pose in the front of the "Why Not Taylor?" sign. Classic. In case you missed it, in the same week Twellman was left off the World Cup roster, he lost his grandfather, former pro baseball player Jim Delsing. For those who didn't know, Delsing was actually the guy who pinch-ran for the legendary Eddie Gaedel. If you don't know who Gaedel is, go look it up and learn something.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Jay DeMerit and Eddie Lewis: one or the other's team will be promoted to the English Premier League after DeMerit's Watford plays Lewis' Leeds in the Coca-Cola Championship playoff final. Lewis scored a beautiful dead ball in the first leg to help Leeds go through, and I have no recollection of who Watford played in their semifinal.

GRAB A COLD BUD (OR AQUAFINA) AND PUT YER FEET UP:
WHAT I'LL BE WATCHING:

HOOPS vs. HOUSTON - 4 p.m. ET on The Deuce: If you missed the first battle, shame on you ... and don't make the same mistake again.

GALAXY vs. REAL - 10:30 p.m. ET on Direct Kick and MLSLIVE.TV: After getting throttled on national TV last Saturday, if they lose at home to hapless RSL, heads are gonna start rolling out here on Planet LA.

FLICK-ONS:

So I ordered this Setanta Sports USA for like an extra 12 bucks a month so I could watch the English Coca-Cola Championship playoffs. It's actually not bad at all, although $12 on top of everything else is a big hit. You do get to see everything from Gaelic Football (I don't get the rules at all but I don't care, I just want to play it) to a ton of World Cup programming. Not sure I'll keep it, but it's not terrible.

The New York Daily News says Bayern Munich may be heading stateside to play the Red Bulls later this month.

Yes, you finally got what you have wanted all these years. They are doing a "Knight Rider" movie.

Good news for XM satellite radio owners - all 64 World Cup matches will be on in both English and Espanol. Phil Schoen, Dave Johnson and Jeff Agoos are part of the English team, while Andres Cantor and Carlos Valderrama are part of the Spanish team.

OK, you asked for it. Last week I opened my big cake hole and said that if anyone e-mailed in about Seventh Heaven going away, I would turn my column over to Queen of the Palace for a week. To all you smart alecks (not my first choice of word) who e-mailed in, you asked for it, you got it. I'll be back in two weeks. Enjoy next week's column penned by the Queen, which should features topics like who is better looking between McDreamy and Michael Ballack and how to lead the league in busting your husband's chops.

During the season, The Clean Sheet runs each week on MLSnet. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or MLSnet.com. Send any questions and comments to tcsresponses@yahoo.com