all together now -- for recreational purposes only.
Over/unders for 2005 MLS season:
(For you non-degenerates out there, this means you can bet that the final number will be either over or under the number printed below.)
Freddy Adu goals: 7
Freddy Adu assists: 6
Freddy Adu celebrity girlfriend rumors: 2
Freddy Adu playing-time complaint rumors: 2
Costa Ricans playing for the Galaxy: 3
2004 Galaxy players left on team by end of season: 4
Ante Razov goals for Columbus (if he stays): 12
Defenses that will look forward to a Razov-Buddle duo: 0
Jeff Cunningham goals for Colorado: 7
Jeff Cunningham assists for Colorado: 0
Dema Kovalenko yellow cards: 234
Yellow cards he thinks were warranted: 0
Yellow cards any player ever has thought were warranted: 0
Times a sportscaster says "Chivas" like the drink: 2,456
Times a sportscaster says "Reel" Salt Lake: 2,457
Times I will drink a glass of Chivas in Salt Lake City: 0
Shots Pat Onstad will face per game: 148
Goals Brian Ching will need to score this season: 61
MLS coaches sacked: 2
Non-recycled coaches hired to replace said sacked coaches: 0
Eddie Johnson goals: 15
Goals he scores before he says he wants to be called "Ed": 10
Chicago Fire wins: 3.5
Chicago Fire fans who will read this column by years end: 0
Chicago Fire fans who can read, anyway: 0
Odds to win MLS Championship:
FC Dallas: 1/1
* Print the banners now -- Frisco, Texas: Titletown, U.S.A.
Chicago Fire: 2/1
* As trustworthy as a German ref, so they could cheat their way to a title
San Jose Earthquakes: 7/1
* Every year the team I think is going to stink ends up just fine, thank you
D.C. United: 10/1
* They got some holes to fill, but Esky is ready to bust out, isn't he?
Columbus Crew: 20/1
* Ante helps, but can they put last year's monumental collapse behind them?
CD Chivas USA: 23/1
* How many Chivas players will cross the 2-0 Parallel and play for the MLS side?
Los Angeles Galaxy: 25/1
* Boy would Steve Sampson shut a lot of people up (myself especially)
Kansas City Wizards: 25/1
* There will be a lot of off-field distractions this season, obviously
MetroStars: 25/1
* Pick a lineup this year and stick with it
Colorado Rapids: 28/1
* Cunningham is a stopgap up front, but they need much more
Real Salt Lake: 30/1
* Building correctly, so they'll compete but may not threaten this season
New England Revolution: NL
* They don't get odds yet, since their season starts in October every year
The Clean Sheet runs each Thursday on MLSnet.com. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or its clubs. Send any questions and comments to tcsresponses@yahoo.com
