The Clean Sheet: If the planet's rockin'

but GolTV looks like a useful Plan B.

THE NEWS: It is Oscar week here on Planet LA and Chris Rock is the host.

TCS SAYS: If there wasn't going to be like a seven-minute delay on the broadcast, could you imagine the pressure on the guy who'd have to hit the beep button every time Rock messed up and dropped in one of those words that make the FCC smile and check their bank accounts? Poor guy would be more miserable than a Revs supporter at a regular-season game before October, more shell-shocked than a MetroStars goalkeeper, and more petrified than a 30-year-old Fire supporter in a middle-school spelling bee.

THE NEWS: Posh and Becks welcome their third son, Cruz, who joins the Beckham stable that already includes sons Brooklyn and Romeo.

TCS SAYS: Brooklyn? Romeo? Cruz? These kids better end up cool, because boys with names like those are begging for a good beating.

GRAB A COLD BUD (OR AQUAFINA) AND PUT YER FEET UP:

WHAT I'LL BE WATCHING:

Saturday: CRYSTAL PALACE-BIRMINGHAM (3 p.m. ET on Fox Soccer Channel): Let's play $64,000 Pyramid. Ready? When it rains on Planet LA for a month straight. Green vegetables. Anything with James Spader in it. The Chicago Fire. Answer: The only things in the world I hate more than Birmingham gaffer Steve Bruce.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday: "AMERICAN IDOL" (varying times on FOX): OK, I watch "Idol." There, I said it. I've been in the music business for 10 years, give or take a decade, so now I'm gonna tell you who is the best performer hands down -- and the next Queen of the Palace should the current one come to her senses and run off with Greg Maddux as she has always wanted to (talk about a bird with no taste).

Anyway, her name is Carrie Underwood. How good is she? She sang a song this week by Tiffany -- Tiffany!! -- and my eyes just glazed over and I saw little Krispy Kremes floating around in front of me. Now, the chick with the chia head may win and everyone loves the music teacher dude with the dreads, but for me, Underwood is clearly the FC Dallas of this competition.

FLICK-ONS:

I just wanted to take a quick personal moment here to thank all of you for your wonderful e-mails over the last week. The Queen of the Palace and I were frankly blown away by the number of heartfelt emails regarding the loss of our Palace Pooch, and I loved all of your great stories about watching games with friends and loved ones and your plans to make those soccer trips happen. Great stuff, everyone.

The Clean Sheet runs each Thursday on MLSnet.com. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or its clubs. Send any questions and comments to tcsresponses@yahoo.com.


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