The Clean Sheet: I don't know much

or should -- make the playoffs, but at least every time either team plays a game now, it's not a sure four-goal rout for the opposition.

So as we hit the break here, it looks like a good time to step back and figure out what I know -- and don't -- about the 10th season of MLS:

I KNOW that Thursday's announcement in D.C. is another step in the right direction for the league thanks to those two magical words: new money. It also sounds like it may be a great step towards those other two magical words: new stadium.

I DON'T KNOW if this is true, but I understand one of these new owners is a German guy who used to be a gymnast? Fantastic.

I KNOW that if exhibition strikes by a player on a foreign team were eligible, Damian Duff's goal Thursday night would be a candidate for Goal of the Year. That is the technique that separates a player of his class from, well, a Chicago Fire player.

I DON'T KNOW for exactly how long I laughed out loud after Brandi's mic picked up a fan yelling "Jose Mourinho's a wanker" during the broadcast.

I KNOW "Wedding Crashers" was a complete blast and "War of the Worlds" stunk.

I DON'T KNOW if it's just because I love Vince Vaughn as much as I can't stand Tom Cruise. I do love the line from someone at the WB network, who said that if Katie Holmes was this good an actress on Dawson's Creek, she would have won an Emmy.

I KNOW that Robert Warzycha is making a good run at keeping the Crew job so far.

I DON'T KNOW if he needs to make the playoffs to earn the gig.

I KNOW that when Hard C dies, he wants his ashes to be sprinkled over Lusitano Stadium.

I DON'T KNOW where Lusitano Stadium is. (I KNOW I don't want any e-mail from fans telling me where it is, either.)

I KNOW the best new television shows to look out for this fall are Everybody Hates Chris on UPN and My Name is Earl on NBC.

I DON'T KNOW how shows like Jennifer Love Hewitt's comically-bad Ghost Whisperer ever, ever, ever get on a network's schedule. Well ...

I KNOW everything's gonna be OK for my Hoops when Eddie comes back and the new stadium opens August 6.

I DON'T KNOW what we're gonna call Pizza Hut Park as of yet?

I KNOW absolutely no one in the world -- even with a last name of Kinnear -- picked the Quakes to be better than the Galaxy this season.

I DON'T KNOW -- and I'm not trying to start trouble here -- is Steve Sampson's job going to be on the line? I'm just asking. Sigi got the sack for not having a title-contending team, but the Galaxy still can't win on the road, and aren't they like a .500 ball club under Sampson? Like I said, I'm honestly just asking a question ...

I KNOW I am happily married to the one and only Queen of the Palace.

I DON'T KNOW how I made it through this ABC party I snuck into the other night without proposing to one of the bevy of serious babes in attendance. My quick top three beautiful babies from the shindig:

1) Natasha Henstridge

2) Heather Graham

3) Marcia Cross

I KNOW Brandi Chastain's analysis is the best of any of the sideline analysts we've had on MLS games.

I DON'T KNOW what the deal is with the uber-casual tank tops.

I KNOW The Commish did an online chat with ESPN.com the other day.

I DON'T KNOW what he said because they only posted the transcript on their premium service. Lame.

I KNOW Cleetus is having a mini-resurgence in Checkettsville, showing a little more effort as of late.

I DON'T KNOW if this is a typical Mathis-esque flash of brilliance, only to let us down with a return to his loping ways.

I KNOW the Revs are the best team in the league right now in points per game.

I DON'T KNOW how good the Revs will be once they are healthy and have all the pieces together.

I KNOW I stand by what I wrote last week that MLS should abandon a single All-Star Game in favor of an All-Star series of matches against top foreign competition.

I DON'T KNOW who the hell Jonah Freedman is or why he buried a somewhat decent point with some seriously weak cheap shots.

The Clean Sheet runs each Thursday on MLSnet.com. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or MLSnet.com. Send any questions and comments to tcsresponses@yahoo.com.


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