The Clean Sheet: Add some Spice?

don't let him play for D.C. United either. He may not survive training. See, they got a guy so dirty, he makes Roy Keane look like Baby Spice.

And it goes without saying he can't play in Chicago. Chic and classy people like you and I feel about Chicago the way your hubby feels about Argentina.

Off the field, there is plenty to keep you busy -- you could travel every other week to a new U.S. city. Trust me, there is nothing like a wonderful summer day game in Kansas City or Dallas.

Even better, there are plenty of cities with cool names in which to conceive your next kid. Just don't have too much fun in Crappo, Maryland -- all the adidas money in the world couldn't cover the amount of therapy that would cause.

So think about it. This country is yours for the taking ... before you know it, the two of you would be all the rage in America. Best part is, you wouldn't need to do a thing to be mega-famous here, talent has nothing to do with fame (see Hilton, Paris ... or anyone on any show that ever ran on VH1).

I won't carry on too much, but when the season is over in Espagne, it's gonna be time to move on. And we'll be here waiting.

Call me ...

With love,

Constantino Palace

FLICK-ONS:

Did I miss something? Who died and made Craig Bellamy Pele?

Good weekend of footie on Fox Sports World this weekend, with some FA Cup ties Saturday and Sunday sandwiched around a chance to see Kasey Keller play for Borussia Moenchengladbach Saturday night at 11 p.m. ET.

Chelsea's second goal Wednesday night against Manchester United was a fluke, but before you pin it all on Timmy Howard, where the heck were the defenders? How does that ball hit the ground in the first place? Yes, he could've come to tidy it up, but even Sir Alex Ferguson said the defenders should have been there.

The Clean Sheet runs each Thursday on MLSnet.com. Views and opinions expressed in this column views and opinions are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or its clubs. Send any questions and comments to tcsresponses@yahoo.com.


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