The Cheap Seats: Off-and-on-season

knock on wood -- and I think it put everything, from Freddymania to Arenagate, into perspective. This is a game, people, just a game. Sad events like Fitzgerald's death should remind us of that. My condolences go out to his family. (Fitzgerald was killed by a driver that didn't see him. As a motorcycle rider myself, I urge everyone to keep an eye out for us.)

Then ... realignment. Ummmmm ... I got nothing.

Then ... I had the pleasure of hanging out with a couple of MLS front-office people. Bottom line: They're nuts! But watching one of them dance to the New York Dolls dressed in a nerdy tank top, Elvis glasses, and pants rolled up above his knees made me supremely confident that MLS is in good hands.

Then ... Kansas City Wizards owner Lamar Hunt announced that the team was for sale, and everyone asked everyone else whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. No one knows. My personal opinion, it's a good thing. The more independent owners we get in the league, the better. Plus, if the team relocates, I won't get any more unintelligible voicemails from my K.C. buddy, Kroh, who has a tendency to down a beer or 12 at Wiz games. (Funny Kroh story: He hit on a girl once and she told him, "I'm sorry, I don't speak gibberish.")

Then ... the biggest news of the offseason so far: MLSers are considered hot dates. Who knew? It seems everyone wants a taste of the MLS candy. Tomorrow night, Freddy Adu is accompanying a girl to a formal dance -- his first dance ever. A couple of league players are in the running for the next Bachelor series. And tonight in D.C., Alecko "Ladykiller" Eskandarian is the celebrity single at the Washington Wizards "Singles Night." He's going to play the "Dating Game," and there's also going to be "In-Game Speed Dating." What a great marketing idea to get people out to the games: buy an NBA ticket and receive a chance at a free one-night-stand! Those games will be SRO in no time.

The sudden interest in MLS dates has to be the single most bizarre, unexpected development of the league's nine years. But imagine the possibilities. It's the offseason, so the more press you get, the better. Think about the publicity the league would receive if some good old-fashioned sex scandal broke out, some kind of torrid affair involving a blue dress and a cigar and maybe a video tape. That's right -- Major League Singles: We've Got Game.

Greg Lalas played for the Tampa Bay Mutiny and the New England Revolution in 1996 and 1997. Send e-mail to Greg at cheapseats@g73.org. Views and opinions expressed in this column are the author's, and not necessarily those of Major League Soccer or MLSnet.com.


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