Real Salt Lake forward Benji Lopez's head is all messed up after Sebastian Velasquez attacked it | THE SIDELINE

Kids, when your mother tells you not to let your friends at school cut your hair, please listen to her. No, seriously. Otherwise you end up looking like Real Salt Lake forward Benji Lopez.

Lopez's pal Sebastian Velasquez is the dude with the electric clippers. Benji should probably ask for his $8 back.

I'm honestly at a loss for how to analyze this particular hairdo, so I'll ask just one question: as a forward, how might Lopez's ability to head the ball accurately be affected by...whatever it is that is now on top of his head?

One might imagine head coach Jason Kreis' reaction when he sees Velasquez's tweet, or tomorrow at practice, to look similar to this:

Sorry, RSL fans, you're right, that was totally rubbing salt into the wound.