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Beware the vicious pine marten. This small animal, native to North Europe, belong to the Mustelidae family -- it's related to the weasel -- generally spend their time hanging out in wooded areas and chasing squirrels along treetop branches.
But when that gets boring, it seems pine martens like to get in a little game of soccer.
On Sunday, a pine marten invaded the field in the middle of a Swiss Super League match between FC Thun and Zurich FC. Then it bit Zurich defender Loris Benito after being scooped up in an impressive diving maneuver.
The whole episode reminded us of that time the black cat invaded BMO Field in the middle of a CONCACAF Champions League match last August. An omen? Well, TFC lost the match 3-1.
As soon as we heard that D.C. United's Chris Pontius was going to do the weather report on FOX5 in Washington -- tune in at 8:15 am to find out if it's going to rain or shine on United's home opener vs. Real Salt Lake on Saturday -- we culdn't help but recall the words of the immortal Dave Spritz:
"I remember once imagining what my life would be like, what I'd be like. I pictured having all these qualities, strong positive qualities that people could pick up on from across the room. But as time passed, few ever became any qualities that I actually had. And all the possibilities I faced and the sorts of people I could be, all of them got reduced every year to fewer and fewer. Until finally they got reduced to one, to who I am. And that's who I am, the weatherman."
As the sun came up on North America, the Twitterati took to their laptops, phones, tablets, soup cans, whatever they use to tweet, in order to express their thoughts about the 2013 MLS season opening up on Saturday. Here are some of my favorite ones.
Not a single Yank starting in @premierleague all wkd. When was the last time THAT happened? Good time for @mls to return (@bguzan plays Mon)
— American Soccer Now (@ThisIsASN) March 2, 2013
Mazeltov @mls kicking off today. Fans looking for fantasy league action, look no further fantasy.mlssoccer.com
— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) March 2, 2013
love these mornings when a new dawn is upon us 2013 @mls is here. #ICareAboutMLS
— Taylor Twellman (@TaylorTwellman) March 2, 2013
Happy #MLS day, you guys
— Seth Vertelney (@svertgoalcom) March 2, 2013
— Free Beer Movement (@FreeBeerMovemnt) March 2, 2013
Okay, so what's the plan?? Do you have your clothes picked out? Season tickets in hand? Watch parties google-mapped? #FirstKick #MLS
— Women United FC (@wunitedfc) March 2, 2013
And here's one of my own (shameless self-promotion!) with a priceless quote from a family member.
Just now, my stepfather on @dcunited's Carlos Ruiz: "He's a maniac, but you have to be a maniac to score goals." #MLS
— Ghost of Gaetjens (@Gaetjens) March 2, 2013
This unplugged musical tribute to Kei Kamara, currently on loan at EPL side Norwich City from Sporting KC, and his "heart-shaped hands" goal celebration isn't going to get a favorable review in the latest issue of NME, but you've got to applaud the guy's gumption to sing it loud and proud on BBC Radio Norfolk's McVeigh and Butler show. And the audience participation. And the jersey.
CLICK HERE to watch the video.
Landon Donovan has a history of insightful, personal interviews. He just hasn't given very many of them lately.
That seems to have changed on Wednesday night, as the US national team and LA Galaxy legend answered questions in public for the first time since helping lead his team to the 2012 MLS Cup. Donovan appeared at a Q&A session titled "The Competitive Edge" on the campus of the University of Southern California.
One promising young scribe proceded to live tweet the event. We can't vouch for the veracity of his transcription, during which Donovan talks about everything from his relationship with his dad to that time he almost quit soccer in 2006 (which, from memory, was right before kickoff vs. Ghana), but I guarantee you we'll all be talking about this out-of-the-blue appearance by LD for the next 48 hours:
Donovan: "2006 was rly my first big failure. There was 2 weeks when I went into depression..I started wondering if soccer is for me again"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
Donovan regarding when Beckham came: "I learned a lot of important things...like what to say and what not to say"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
On marriage sit in 2009: "For some reason, there was smth inside me that was pulling me to get out of it...I became not a great (pause) man"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
"I hit a point last year, and it's really been a lot...I don't feel an obligation to play soccer, I play it cuz I like it, not bc I need it"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
"I was so exhausted from the weight of the past 15 years...really the past 28 years"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
"There have been time in the past where I thought about quitting because I no longer enjoyed it" he's referring to his time at Bayer Leverku
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
Here's the best part, if you're a US fan:
What everyone wanted to hear: "Yes, I do have an interest in playing for the USMNT again, if given the opportunity, I would"
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
And here's the part that's Landon being Landon to, like, the Nth degree:
He says he asked to speak at USC when he heard of our class, and agent approved it. Example of giving more than just on the field.
— Jesse Xiao (@Xman818) February 21, 2013
Slick editing? Subtitles for those of us who can't parle français? Unparallelled behind-the-scenes access during MLS preseason? It's all here.
There's been some good content coming out of Montreal recently, and the most recent contribution from our neighbors in Quebec is a featurette called " or Behind every player.
It look like there will be more of the same coming from Florida, where the Impact are competing in the Disney Pro Classic, so there should be more where this came from. Check it out and share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Sporting KC have been on the forefront of MLS 2.0 since their rebranding, so people tend to pay attention when they unveil their latest marketing initiative.
With the MLS regular season just 19 days away – Sporting and Philadelphia will be the first clubs to kick a ball with points on the line on March 2 at PPL Park – fans in Kansas City are already feeling the hype ahead of yet another season with high expectations.
Check out the commercial above, which ran during the Grammy Awards in the hope of capturing an audience outside the club's core fanbase, and let us know what you think in the comment section below.
When Jay DeMerit fell to the Vancouver Whitecaps ahead of their inaugural MLS season, most figured they'd landed the linchpin of their team for years to come.
Nobody could have guessed how quickly or fully DeMerit would embrace life in British Columbia, though. So much so that he's all settled down in the northern-most reaches of Cascadia. Literally.
He put a ring on a local celebrity (Canadian Olympic Ski Cross Gold Medalist Ashleigh McIvor) and has no trouble rattling off 'hoods (he lives in Gastown) like he's been posted up in Vancouver for years.
“The thing I love about this city is that it can really grip you in a lot of different ways,” DeMerit told WhitecapsFC.com.
“I met my fiancée here and I’ve been able to take my life to the next level,” added the World Cup veteran. “That’s what we all want in our lives and our careers, and this city has allowed me to do that on both ends.”
Bravo, Jay. Looks like you're doing just fine.
If you've got your finger on the pulse of the American soccer scene, you know the name Shawn Francis – former MLS Insider and curator of the fantastic blog The Offside Rules.
Once again, SF's shed some light on a clip that's got viral written all over it, and I just can't resist sharing since Alex Morgan + Katy Perry = the Internet breaking.
What are you waiting for? Hit play and enjoy US soccer's biggest star doing her best KP impression.
Oh yeah, let us know what you think in the comment section below. Just keep it civilized.
I can't always make out what's being said in this video from the Impact – my French is a bit rusty ... and by rusty, I mean nonexistent – but this really is must-watch stuff.
It seems owner Joey Saputo and head coach Marco Schällibaum aren't opposed to some nontraditional team building, in this case a rag-tag, Quebec-style Amazing Race complete with snow-shoe races, paddle ball and insect consumption.
I'd try to describe it in more detail, but you just have to watch to understand. And yes, Saputo chomps down on his full share of creepy crawlies.