Let's play a game of "Name That Soccer Nation!"
- Yellow jerseys = ?
- Blue jerseys = ?
- Light-blue-and-white-striped jerseys = ?
You got them right, didn't you? Because Brazil, Italy, and Argentina have long-defined aesthetic identities. You turn on the TV and if one of them -- or Holland or Spain or Germany -- is playing, you can recognize them without even a second glance. In other words, you know what those jerseys stand for before you even hear who is wearing them.
Now think back over the past couple of decades of US jerseys. How many can you remember?
The denim kit, of course. Novelty is always easy. There was a sash or two, I think, but I'm not sure I remember the color of said sashes. Then there was that gun-metal gray thing that still makes me think the designer spilled mercury on his keyboard when he was typing in the CMYK code.
Anyway, on Monday, US Soccer revealed the latest new US national team jersey, as they do every two years or so. To be perfectly honest, I don't mind it. It's got decent colors, a little character, and with apologies to FC Dallas is relatively unique on the international stage.
But then again, I didn't mind any of the other ones.
And that's the point: None of them ever sticks around long enough for me to care one way or the other. Which seems to suggest that the US lacks a true identity. I guess that's part of what Jurgen Klinsmann talks about when he talks about "finding the American style" and all that other stuff. Maybe, just maybe, he'll convince the federaion that to truly ever define the American style of playing, it would be good once and for all to define the American style of dressing.
This week, we see the antics of two Sporting Kansas City youngsters on the golf course, two ex-MLS stars share a curry in England and Timbers rookie Andrew Jean-Baptiste shares his favorite movie quote.
So this is what Sporting's young strikers Soony Saad and Dominic Dwyer get up to in their spare time!? Will Tiger Woods start doing this soon?
big birdie putt, @SoonySaad checking his line haha #Clueless http://pic.twitter.com/UTQ9KlnG
— Dominic Dwyer (@Ddwyer14) April 11, 2012
US International Stuart Holden enjoys a "rubby murray" (slang for Indian food in England), with fellow US International Robbie Rogers and brother Euan Holden - who also plays professionally for Stockport County in England.
Knocked back a solid Indian for dinner with @EuanHolden and @robbierogers ! #spicy http://instagr.am/p/JSouFiLFo1/
— Stuart Holden (@stuholden) April 11, 2012
Many people complain about the view from their office window - too many pigeons, construction work, etc. But Real Salt Lake's captain Kyle Beckerman can have no such complaints about the view from his "office." Wow.
Soccer w/ view. http://instagr.am/p/JP_KBCwRdy/
— Kyle Beckerman (@KyleBeckerman) April 10, 2012
Portland Timbers rookie Andrew Jean-Baptiste was drafted with the 8th overall pick this year. The former UCONN standout spends most of his time on Twitter. Here he shares a classic movie quote....well, sort of.
"Back up, put the gun down and get me some Tropical Fruit Bubblelicious.............................and some Skittles!" - Bad Boys
— Andrew Jean-Baptiste (@ajeanbaptiste92) April 10, 2012
Liverpool striker and Welsh legend Craig Bellamy has always been a colorful character. Leander Schaerlaecken is eagerly anticipating a possible move to MLS.
Does anybody else think it would be really fun to see Craig Bellamy playing in MLS?
— Leander Schaerlaecken (@LeanderESPN) April 11, 2012
If you see a soccer tweet that should be included in our top five, be sure to send it to the @MLS_Insider!
In honor of Friday the 13th, the players of Montreal Impact were asked what superstitions they have before game time.
Superstitions in the world of sports generally are a result of pre-game rituals which have turned into habit.
Some say athletes are creatures of habit, and if that’s true, these creatures’ habits include: 90’s hip-hop, a propensity to their lower left limbs, and gorging on Gummi Bears.
See for yourself:
Oh, that Jimmy Conrad. He's had a good life on the soccer field.
He played in the World Cup.
He captained Chivas USA.
Oh, and he beat Chelsea when Jose Mourinho was their manager.
The latest list released by fashion magazine Cosmpolitan is sure to cause banter, discussion and laughs in MLS locker rooms across the country.
“Hottest Major League Soccer Players,” is a photo gallery Cosmo has put together, showcasing the 19 sexiest players to grace MLS.
There are sure to be a few MLSers flicking through this gallery hoping to see themselves, but they are sure to be sorely disappointed as only one player from each club was selected.
Household name David Beckham makes the list, (I can already hear the ladies sighing and saying, “Obviously”) but other players looking suave and seductive include the chiseled Chris Wondolowski, Stephen Keel with his endless golden locks, and Montreal rookie Andrew Wenger sporting a textbook smile with a slicked-back hair style.
The photo captions alone are worth checking out. This gem about David Estrada may be the pick of the bunch:
“If recent games are any indication, this Seattle Sounders forward really knows how to score.”
Behold: The jerseys for Euro 2012 have been released. And there are many sashes.
The US men's national team made waves before the 2010 World Cup by reintroducing a sash to their jerseys in homage to the 1950 team that famously beat England. And while it's not exactly unique – teams like Trinidad and Tobago and Peru have been rocking the sash for years – it's not exactly standard fare.
So from whence come the sashes? This is undoubtedly jingoistic, biased, and self-aggrandizing, but I tend to think that the US brought the design back into vogue.
Which would also mark the first time that Europeans have ever taken fashion advice from Americans. Give yourselves a pat on the back, readers.
I, for one, feel pretty good about it. I like the sash on the US jerseys. I think they'll look good at Euro 2012. Undoubtedly, you feel differently. And... discuss!
You may have noticed that this Saturday's match between the Columbus Crew and New York Red Bulls has shifted from Galavision to Univision Deportes.
The reason for that is that the Univision Deportes Network, the new all-sports network from Univision, is set to kick off on Saturday on DishLATINO and DISH’s America’s Top 200. The new network launches at 3 pm ET on Saturday with a live broadcast of New York's visit to Crew Stadium and will also air the Red Bulls match against Chivas USA on May 23. Viewers can also watch the Crew and Red Bulls' meeting on MLS LIVE outside the Columbus and New York areas.
“We have created a programming lineup that will connect and inform sports fans all day long on the teams and leagues they follow so passionately,” said Eric Conrad, vice president of Programming, Univision Deportes. “Univision has been bringing many of the most-watched matches to Hispanic viewers for 50 years and created Univision Deportes Network to bring expanded access to the content we know our viewers can’t get enough of. And through our partnership with Televisa, we are now able to offer U.S. audiences access to even more sports content.”
Univision Deportes Network’s launch day schedule for Saturday includes:
3 p.m. – 5 p.m. ET Major League Soccer: Columbus Crew vs. New York Red Bulls
5 p.m. – 7 p.m. ET Solo Boxeo Tecate: Special Edition
7 p.m. – 8 p.m. ET “Futbol Central”
8 p.m. – 10 p.m. ET Liga Mexicana: Santos vs. Estudiantes Tecos
1 p.m. – 12 a.m. ET Liga Mexicana: Monterrey vs. Tigres de la UANL
12 a.m. – 1 a.m. ET “Univision Deportes Extra”
With the Twitter world working overtime during the MLS season, every Friday we'll post five of the most inventive and interesting tweets from the North American soccer community from the previous week.
The best snippets of entertainment, knowledge and intrigue from inside the world of North American soccer will be displayed here, so be sure to keep up to date on what the players, coaches and journalists are tweeting about.
In our first week, we see how SI.com's Grant Wahl is having pet issues, USMNT coach Jurgen Klinsmann addresses his squad and an MLS star enjoys early morning word puzzles.
So here they are: our five favorites from soccer's Twitterati:
Well done to @clint_dempsey for scoring his 13th Premier League goal of season, extending his own American record. #USMNT.
— Jurgen Klinsmann (@J_Klinsmann) March 31, 2012
This man @BigAfrika88 wakes up at 6:40AM guess what's the 1st thing he did? No not brush his teeth, "Starts playing Scramble wit friends SMH
— Kei Kamara (@keikamara) April 2, 2012
Big last-second win for Dallas vs NE. In other news, my 5-pound poodle Coco tried to take on a 130-pound Bernese mountain dog.
— Grant Wahl (@GrantWahl) April 5, 2012
Nagbe is ballin, @MLS is on the rise! #MLS
— Jozy Altidore (@JozyAltidore) April 3, 2012
There's nothing quite like a feud between Marc Burch and Daniel Woolard to get the neutrals pumped for the weekend.
— Kyle McCarthy (@kylejmccarthy) April 6, 2012
Photo Courtesy of Getty Images
With the exception of Shaquille O'Neal – known to some as the Big Aristotle – pro athletes are not necessarily known for their smarts. Leave it to the Swedish to shatter our worldview.
A new study by Stockholm's Karolinska Institutet on the cognitive function of top-tier soccer players in Sweden reveals that they are way smarter than we are. As a matter of fact, the 29 players tested combined for an average score in the top five percent of all participants.
My immediate reaction is that these results are skewed: I assume everyone who lives in Sweden is smart, attractive and interesting. But apparently even by that lofty standard, these soccer players are at the top of the heap, because they also scored better than guys in the lower divisions.
So now the people who are in much better shape than us are also better at using their brains. Ladies and gentlemen, we are truly, desperately in trouble.