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Armchair Analyst: Am I about to win the Reddit double?

05 December 8:13 pm

Armchair Analyst: Am I about to win the Reddit double?

By Matthew Doyle

You bet your sweet bippy.

Here it is on r/MLS, the 2012, end-of-season awards. And I am awesome.

Does this kind of dominance come naturally, you may wonder?

It would be immodest to say "yes." It would also be wrong. As Malcolm Gladwell so eloquently (read: dubiously) explained in his pop-psychology best-seller Outliers, there may very well be a thing called "The 10,000 Hour Rule." And that if any talentless hack does one specific task for 10,000 hours or more, he'll probably get pretty good at it.

I guarantee you I've wasted 10,000 hours on the internet. Hell, I've probably done 20,000 hours. I remember 'TheSpark' before it became 'SparkNotes.' I spent hours on SoccerAmerica:Graffiti. I ran a linkshell in FFXI, for God's sake.

That's why I'm beating a World Cup veteran (Hi, Alexi!) and my boss (Um.. sorry, Chris) combined.

To blatantly rip off Stephen Colbert: I am like an athlete who has trained his entire life for a race he never knew was coming. And that race is "internet."

Thank you for your votes.

I'm Matt Doyle, and I approve this message.